Exhaustion

Over the last few days I have come to accept something within myself, and that is that I am exhausted. Exhausted from attempting to gain respect and recognition from all those around me, and most of all from within myself.

I'm not sure how many white men ever realize their place of privilege in global society. And if you are a person deemed to be of low class or racial inferiority, your struggle to be heard, let alone recognized and respected are compounded with immeasurable challenges. As a woman, segregated because of class and race for the first 18 years of life, I feel an inherent understanding to the persistent struggles of the lowest caste group in Nepal (Dalit) and especially girls and women. Yet, even as a foreigner, I do not deny my privilege to be here and to be living and working amongst the people of a country considered one of the poorest on the planet. Yet, even amongst those I work alongside (other foreigners) my opinion, actions and voice are still challenged and made to feel inferior. Those old feelings of oppression which were felt as a child haunt my daily routine, and to be honest, have haunted me for the two decades in which I left my home village of marginalized existence.

It is only now that I have come to the realization, that the daily internal and external shouting above the imposed silence, has drained my energy and will to challenge the closed minds surrounding me. It has been my reflective soul-searching of the last several months that suddenly opened a door for me to acknowledge the reality of this daily battle and how my head, heart and soul are fractured because of it. It is time to not only be proud of myself outwardly in all I have become and done, but most importantly, inwardly in all fairness and honesty to myself. I bow now to let those around me to continue to live in self-imposed spaces of privilege and ignorance-of-self, while I will roam freely and with conviction in knowing my own good, my own identity, embracing my own spiritual peace.

Innocence...

What do children really need? Toys? New designer shoes? Electronic gadgets? Attention? Empathy? Love? I guess depending on your own social, political and economic status in the world, you might answer with all of the above. But it's not until you walk out of the developed world box that you see Children really need Equality!! Equal access to clean sanitation, safe housing, quality education, and basically the individual recognition of potential!!!!

Children's innocence in what they have to what they don't have amazes me. As I think of the 5 year olds from my middle-class world in Canada, to the 5 year olds I greatly admire and respect in impoverished rural Nepal, I see how much "richer" these local children are.

Their certainly rich in their joy of the simple. The way all Nepali children laugh, explore, investigate with limited fear of strangers, any creature great or small, is utterly blissful!! Baby goats and puppies are all part of the local "gang" to sing with, dance with, dress up in towels and hats, as everyone rolls around in the grass between rice patties, cattle stalls, pig styes and concrete or adobe walls of their "modern" humble homes. Their possessions are very few. One or two causal outfits, to one or two school uniforms will be all they wear for some years. Expected school shoes are enclosed, but most children (and adults for that matter) live in hard plastic sandals, or nothing at all. Toys are few. Electronics non-existent.

And yet, these children are some of the poorest in all the other ways that qualifies developed nations as "developed". Many schools have limited running water, let alone separate bathrooms for boys or girls. All sanitation is outside of course, and there is no environmentally safe/appropriate waste system anywhere in rural Nepal. Schools are in various states of construction or crumbling, qualifying many classes to be conducted outdoors all year through. There are no Health & Safety rules or regulations here in Nepal.

Children however, are incredibly resilient in this nation of 30 million people (roughly the same as Canada). The statistics for child-hood disease and death rates are still alarming, but of those children I engage every day... I routinely sit in awe of their urchin-like smiles, their unadulterated giggles and their captivating sense of innocence.

The potency of "rain"....

As the beginning of a new Gregorian calendar year is upon us (the Nepali/Hindu New Year is in April), I am delighted to offer that my partner and I sought to enter 2012 in a different city, engaging in new adventures, and of course discovering new bird-life! :->  (check out his revisited blog site at markdread.blogspot.com for more feathery details) Still in Nepal, we made our way to the city of Pokhara. Nestled in the central hills of Nepal, Pokhara is more known for being the stepping off point for many popular treks into the Himalayas than for much else. But with it being a trekkers paradise, the perks of Western cuisine, hot showers and a more active nightlife highlight the stopover in a way that the overcrowded, "hippie-esqe" hustle & bustle of Kathmandu is not. It was certainly a nice refuge for a week. The biggest and possibly only challenge, however, with visiting Pokhara from our current 'dera' or home in the Far West, simply comes down to "getting there and back".

Nepal has one highway. It is a dual-carriage/single lane highway, not highlighted by an central line, rudely maintained and cliff-teettering in spots, but often the only means of transportation (sparse air services do exist, but are temperamental based on weather and expense) from the east to the west of the country. All forms of moving vehicle and terrestrial animal, from rickshaws to lorries, cattle to dogs, use this highway, and often its "2-lane" width is in reality a "6/8-lane" roller-coaster experience.  Getting from Dhangadhi to Pokhara, therefore, comes down to a choice of 3 transportation options: a flight from Dhangadhi to Pokhara. This requires a transfer in Kathmandu (which is further away from Dhangadhi than Pokhara, but ALL flights come in and fly out of the capital regardless of internal destination or start-off points). There is a tourist bus which will take you again toward Kathmandu (a 19 hour no stops/overnight ride) of which you can get off 2 hours this side of Kathmandu and flag down another tourist bus to finish the journey to Pokhara which would take another 6 hours, depending on bus availability on the side of the highway. OR a local bus, which is a direct bus to Pokhara but stops everywhere, resulting in a 20 hour, cramped adventure on a bus that is reminiscent of the comfort felt riding a children's schools bus.

Flying in Nepal is cheap on an international cost scale, but as a volunteer, it far exceeds my allowance. The tourist bus option, this time of year in particular has odds of leaving one stranded on the side of the road for hours, if not overnight, and so the local bus won out, as it was the most direct, least confusing/scary in tempting the unknown, and by far the cheapest. The great thing about the local bus though...is you never know with what or "whom" the bus-boys will jam it with to generate any form of payment for transportation. :-> All in all, an interesting experience, and one that would not be dismissed readily for the next adventure....but be for warned.... goat pee and rain initially retain the same qualities coming down against open or closed windows... but that "fresh-rain" smell is sorely lacking with the first option by far.... :-}

View of Pokhara City from the Peace Pagoda Hilltop Vantage Point.

Phewa Lake which borders the city of Pokhara, and boat rides are a cheap way to spend a day. (No motor boats allowed!)

The Annapurna Mountain Range, the view again from the Peace Pagoda Vantage Point.

....and the last of 20 goats being loaded on to the roof or our bus for what would be another 18 hours of our trip to Pokhara. Wonder how much each one of them was charged for the journey??? ;->

How fresh is your chicken?

One fascination I have developed upon living in rural Nepal is the complete and utter acceptance chickens have on their way to their personal ends, i.e. someone's dinner table. The local farmers bring their chickens to sell to local butchers alive, hanging upside down from their feet in bunches (usually 10 in a bunch), from the handlebars of their motorcycles or pedal bikes. Transportation trucks, much like most large scale industry, does not exist here, so everyone deals in the barter, man-to-man (literally of course) system, with goods moving about via rick-shaw, motorcycle or bicycle. I love to see these large, soundless but very alert, fowl bobbing around like tassels from the handlebars, as the motorbikes chug down the roads. It's hilarious, if not terribly, terribly impressive.... I can't imagine the fight these birds stage to end up in this manner.... or, maybe they too are just simple fatalistic victims of the complacency of Nepal ... ;-P now there's something to think about... :-> what a fowl thought indeed!

Ode to the rice weevil

Indeed the true stewards of this globe are the creatures that account for the most numerous moving occupants: Invertebrates. As the rice becomes harvested off the fields and patties surrounding my current abode, the infestation of rice weevils can only leave one giggling at their knack for appearing everywhere and at any time in numerous amounts. Their slow moving and unambiguous appearance is not so much an intrusion as it seems just to be a migrational movement of lost, searching souls. Yet, their numbers, slowly dwindling as the days progress, provide one with an insight into the structural simplicity yet marvellous mechanics of the Earth's ecological system. We truly need to pay homage to that successful if not challenging, inevitable, annual shift of multiple-legged, or bulbous bodied or fanciful winged creatures which answer only to an internal clock provoked by the climatic changes of our galaxy.

Unfortunately, my rice weevils are too small for my simplistic camera to capture their black ant-eater-like form. But, I certainly have captured a small treasure trove of other Invertebrates that haunt my world in South Asia, and although I was once fearful of their differences to my own, I now revel in their true domination as being caretakers of our environment in multiple ways.  An appreciation for other creatures builds bridges to living with and accepting that which should not be feared.

And of course their skill at architecture is also a vision to behold!!

Lights, sound, action...

As I compose this note my friends and family in North America are getting their best costume ready for Fright Night, my current neighbours and colleagues are wrapping up Diwali/Tihar & The Festival of Lights, while my extended family and friends in the UK are getting ready to blow up Guy Fawkes. The history of celebrating (and the cynics out there would say profiting from) our past, present and future never seems to elude humans of all ages!! :-} Yet, when one is surrounded by humble daily existence, one is constantly reminded of the simplicities that bring such joy and comfort, without the expense, without the hoopla, without having to go too far... Friends and family are obviously part of this equation, but when beyond those connections, it is nature that can bring you down to earth in the most serene, gratifying and peaceful way.
Nepal offers this and more, and as I share some visions of our recent trip to Bardia National Park, reminisce about the last time you went for a walk in the forest (some of my doggie friends will say yesterday of course :-B), but looked through the trees to see refractions of light or glistening cobwebs, heard the diversity in feathered-friend songs, and witnessed the march of critters, large and small up a tree, behind a log or down a forged path. I hope many of you, dog owners or not, can answer: within the last 24 hours. Enjoy!!

**Please Note: the pictures of the lounging crocodile, the elephant herd, the spotted deer, the common kingfisher and the Bengal tiger are all copyright and courtesy of Mr. Mark D. Read. 

We're not in Kansas anymore Toto....

Nepal. The land of the highest mountains, some of the most lush, fertile plains, entrenched in a cultural milieu of rhythmic colour, sights and sounds... what a space to offers so much, yet return so little to its stewards. By stewards, I of course refer to the Nepali people. Still a people of much joy and peace, encapsulated with such poverty and struggle. In the far west of Nepal, the high rises and fast-paced lifestyle (if one could call it that compared to Western cities) are certainly no where to be seen. Late night curfews of 8:30pm exist for all, while the unpaved streets and farmers fields are alive and productive by 5:30am. Sunsets are nothing but spectacular routinely, and to enjoy the diverse nature of what this region has to offer can only truly be internalized with a pedal bike journey in the early morn across the fields, through the forests, before the heat of the day has engulfed all living energy.

It was in this space of beauty and content stagnation that Buddha, both in spirit and human form, emerged some 2553 years ago. His specific birth space at Lumbini has become the spiritual home to an international congregation of Buddhist Monks & Nuns, and the overarching sense of wonder and peace in this enclosed retreat can not be overstated.

But yet I am left to wonder: is it poverty within peace or peace within poverty? Is it chosen acceptance, as Bista's Fatalism and Development might imply, or surrender under a cultural stronghold that offers little reprieve at present?

The view from our apartment, as the local "moving company" deliver our personal goods. The goods flew from Egypt to Kathmandu, then drove from Kathmandu to Danghadi, then rick-shawed to our doorstep, with very few casualties.

A typical pink sunset in the far west of Nepal.

Lumbini Center, the site of Buddha's birth.

 Poverty in peace...

or peace in poverty?